Embracing Failure: Why Mistakes are Essential for Growth

If I had a dollar for every time I failed, tripped, made a mistake in my life, my relationships, and my business WOW as cliche as it sounds I would be rich AF. 

The truth is we are all human. 

The truth is failure is inevitable.

The truth is we may fail and not manage to figure it out. We may have to change course entirely.

Many years ago I went to a conservatory for theatre. I wanted to “make it”. My plan was to finish my undergrad, and audition for graduate programs in the UK. I was going to learn my craft to the absolute fullest and then find work until I “made it”. Well as you can see in my early 40’s I have done anything but “make it” – at least in the traditional sense. I am a writer, a theatre educator, an active performer, a mother, a partner, a lover of learning and living. But 20 year old me would have scoffed, felt betrayed that I didn’t set out for what I planned. 

I had an “idea” of what my life would look like when I was in my 20’s. The thing is – I was wrong. 

I mean, not wrong, necessarily. I was right at the time but then – time happens and life. Things change. Priorities change. Life happens. Failures occur. Life happens some more and so on. 

My mistake was – in my 20’s – that I thought I knew what I needed. I thought I needed to be exceptional and recognized in the Arts. Not taking into consideration my rejection sensitive dysphoria, what little money I actually had to achieve what I was hoping to achieve, not realizing that though the talent was there, there were other parts of me and my resources that limited that success. Some may say I just didn’t have what it took, that I didn’t work hard enough, but I say that it took strength to realize my failing and my incorrect assessment of what I thought I wanted and then pivoted. 

It takes strength to say “you know what, I thought I could do this, but turns out I was wrong and now I am going to make space for myself and explore something that aligns more with who I am as I learn more about myself, as I age”.

Okay Jess, thanks for the biography but what does this have to do with why mistakes are essential for growth. 

Ah, there it is, great question! 

I bring this up because I am living proof that the mistakes I made in my career in my 20’s lead me to a path of personal success in my present (as a side note I still make plenty of mistakes today, right now). I even internally chuckle when people say “wow, I can’t believe that’s your job” or “that’s so cool you get to do that” and I think to myself, younger me would think this was a joke. But it’s not. Every single misstep and perceived failure led me to a place where my life and my business works for me and not the other way around. 

Don’t get me wrong, I grieved those mistakes. In some cases it took years to lick my wounds and save face. To even talk about my failings with that chapter in my life took till I was in my late 30’s and even then there is still a little itch from time to time, a question, a judgment, a shame. 

Failure is like dating. You may not have ended up with the person you thought you would but they taught you some damn good lessons about what you want and need along the way, yet still you look back at that person and wonder…

Remember that embracing failure is crucial for personal growth and development.

Mistakes are not something to be feared or avoided, but rather they should be embraced as valuable learning experiences. 

It took me a long time to get comfortable with failure which is ironic because I pursued a life in the Arts lol. But seriously, culturally we are taught to look at failure as a bad thing but it’s so rich in self discovery and lessons. Failure teaches us resilience and perseverance. It provides us with the chance to reassess our goals, refine our strategies, and ultimately achieve success. By acknowledging and learning from our mistakes, we become stronger and more capable individuals.

So do yourself a favor. Feel frustrated and sorry and embarrassed for a time at your failure, but then ask yourself – what was working, what wasn’t, is this aligning with my needs and wants still, does this feel good in my heart and my body. Learn and stay a student of yourself, your life, and your business. 

And above all PIVOT with your head held high.